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User blog:Ultimate Hair Dryer/Doc Brown vs Okabe Rintarou. Anime vs Anything Rap Battles
Holy sweet comeback of who the fuck am I even anymore. Well, I don't really expect anyone to remember me, but if you do that's cool. So hey, here's a battle. That's cool. I've tried writing several battles before, but I've never actually published any. I just wasn't really happy with them. But after playing the "Steins;Gate" visual novel and watching the anime, I dunno I just felt inspired and all, and I thought the character would be great in a rap battle. So while Doc Brown's already been in an ERB, I thought he would be the best opponent for Okabe Rintarou (the main character of Steins;Gate) : two mad scientists involved with time travel. Writing that battle also made me watch the Back to the Future movies for the first time, and I loved them :P And I've even noticed some small other connections between to the two characters. And I do realize that Okabe is probably not known by many here, if at all, so there's a pretty lengthy "Meanings" section below the battle, if you wanna get all the references I squeezed in there :) That battle took me a lot of time to write, so I really hope you guys will like it :P I don't think I'll make another one though, it was way just too time-consuming. Also, if you wanna have an idea of what Okabe sounds like (along with Mayuri and Itaru, who also appear in the battle), just watch this scene at 1:07. The vector of Okabe used in the iTunes cover was made by HurtHattori. 'Instrumental' 'Lyrics' Doc Brown and Okabe Rintarou in white, Itaru Hashida in yellow, Mayuri Shiina in blue and Marty McFly in red. (0:13) ANIME VS ANYTHING RAP BATTLES DOC BROWN VS OKABE RINTAROU BEGIN 'Okabe Rintarou :' (0:27) Who is this Okabe you speak of ? I am the great Hououin Kyouma ! Along with his assistant Christina, and his trusty right-hand Super Hacka ! Hacker ! Doesn't matter... Let's give Doc his dose of dark rapping matter. After this encounter this broke herb will learn to not counter the words of the madder attacker ! You better go get your helmet Emmett, the building's about to be more shaken than your partner, by a discharge of lyrical gigawatts, causing utter chaos and disaster ! Call me master ! That's the treatment you get when you face the famed original Lab Mem. I'll make you and that pinhead here both chicken out when I turn your fancy Chevy to jelly, man! 'Doc Brown :' (0:54) Let your elder give you a lecture as to why Doc Braun owns the place. My rhymes are more radiant than plutonium, and I flow like time itself ! You have no right to diss the MC, PhD, MD's DMC. I've seen less B.S. in an Old West cowshed. Messiah ? In your fantasies, maybe ! Did I mention my stylin' DeLorean, which I use to cruise on the fourth dimension ? While you're sending shady spam back to the past with a goddamn broken oven ! Great Scott ! Fate, Doc ? I think not. This lanky Bill Murray deserves the serving he got. And if he's inclined to not flee from this worldline, he'll see some of the serious shit I've brought. 'Okabe Rintarou :' (1:22) This quirky persona is clearly a façade. Could he be from the Organization? Impossible... They'd never send that declining trilogy's dweeb on the mission. Thus I conclude, that this wacky act is nothing but an attempt at attention subsistence. Hence, it shouldn't cause much divergence to erase this nuisance from existence ! Put simply, if you wanna start Biff with me, then I won't hold back... to the Future ! I'll rip ya like Libyans till this lonely old timer's back... Ruptures ! What a mismatch ! While your rusty body is conSERNed by those burns that my trail left on you, Steins;Gate bestows upon me a God's view ! El Psy Kongroo. 'Doc Brown :' (1:49) Façade ? How sad. Look in a mirror : power and Other Delusions. This discussion is superfluous, if you leap through time as much as you do to conclusions. I'm slicker... than this slacker, who couldn't dream to be half as McFly as the Doctor whose bars are tighter than any black hole's hole, or even the bike shorts of your pal Titor! Now I know you're one of those rookies who see science as a game, kid. But you really went hoverboard when you managed to get your friends killed. Me winning this conflict was no secret, for it's penned in the Battle Rap Almanac. I've been outshining a Zero... Since the dawn of time, till the end of that track ! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE ANIME VS ANYTHING RAP BATTLES 'Rap Meanings' Well that section is pretty fucking long. At first I just wanted to explain the most obscure references, but for some reason it just didn't feel complete to me. So of course the only logical reaction was to write explanations to every-fucking-thing. I dunno, guys... I just couldn't help myself... which is stupid because that shit was very time-consumming... Well anyway, I don't expect anyone to read everything, but just know that I tried to squeeze in a lot of references in there, so there might be some that you didn't even know were references. Still, the fuck is wrong with me... Also, know that the meanings are even more spoilery than the lyrics, so read at your own risk. Also also, Steins;Gate is referred as a "game" instead of "visual novel", since visual novels are considered games anyway (yeah they are), and that it's easier for my lazy brain to write. Okabe Rintarou : Who is this Okabe you speak of ? I am the great Hououin Kyouma ! (Hououin Kyouma is Okabe's persona, an arrogant and mad scientist. He usually almost always prefers to be referred as such and acts as if it's his real name. He's addressing the announcer, pretty much like in Doctor Who vs Doc Brown.) Along with his assistant Christina, and his trusty right-hand Super Hacka ! (Okabe presents two of his "underlings" (though he's pretty much the only one who sees them as such), Kurisu and Itaru. Okabe also often gives nicknames to people (ones they usually dislike), one of Kurisu's being Christina. He also sees Itaru as his right-hand man, and while he actually appreciates being called a "Super Hacker", he dislikes it when it's mispronounced "Hacka"...) Hacker !' Doesn't matter... Let's give Doc his dose of dark rapping matter.' (...and so he often corrects Okabe about it. Doctors prescribe doses of medication to patients, and Doc Brown has a Doctor title (even though it's not a physician one). There's a bit of science talk in Back to the Future, and even more in Steins;Gate, about time travel, physics, and all that good shit. So yeah, dark matter, dark rap...dark rapping matter... I dunno just roll with it.) After this encounter this broke herb will learn to not counter the words of the madder attacker ! (Both Doc Brown and Okabe are pretty much mad scientists, though Okabe is probably the one who cares the most about being seen as one, so he asserts himself as an even madder scientist than Doc. Okabe also says Doc's broke because: 1. His house burned down and now he lives in a garage that he also uses as his lab. 2. He used most of his family's fortune to fund the creation of his time machine. So yeah, he's not in the best position financially speaking.) You better get your helmet Emmett, the building's about to be more shaken than your partner, (Doc Brown's full name is Emmett Lathrop Brown. Okabe's time machine (called the "PhoneWave (name subject to change)") causes the building it's in to shake when in use. Michael J. Fox, the actor playing Marty McFly (Doc Brown's "partner"), was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1992, which causes him to... shake. Ye. The guy even has his own foundation to help find a cure for the disease, that's pretty fucking cool.) by a discharge of lyrical gigawatts, causing utter chaos and disaster ! (The shaking of the building is also accompanied by an electrical discharge coming from the PhoneWave (name subject to change), filling the room with lightning. Gigawatts are a unit of measurement for power (joule per second). This is a reference to Back to the Future in which Doc's time machine needs to be powered by 1.21 gigawatts in order to be used. When talking as Hououin Kyouma, Okabe is also obsessed with bringing chaos to the world.) Call me master ! That's the treatment you get when you face the famed original Lab Mem. (The "Call me master" part is just Okabe telling Doc to submit to him, but also a reference to maid cafes in Japan in which the waitresses are dressed as maids and call customers "Master". And yes, there is one in Steins;Gate as well, called "MayQueen+Nyan²". Though in this one, the maids also wear cat ears, so they refer to customers as "Myaster" ('cause "nyan" is "meow" in Japanese in case y'all filthy casuals didn't know), but that most likely wouldn't have been as imposing in the rap battle. "Lab Mem" is short for "laboratory member". This is what Okabe calls anyone he makes join his group, along with a corresponding number. Since he's the one who founded it and the first member, Okabe is Lab Mem 001. And no, he's not actually famed, but he likes to think he is and that anyone would kill to get their hands on his genius or even to be a Lab Mem.) I'll make you and that pinhead here both chicken out when I turn your fancy Chevy to jelly, man! (Okabe calls Marty a "pinhead" in reference to his band, "The Pinheads". Marty McFly is also known to get angry when called a chicken, hence the "chicken out". Okabe refers to Doc Brown's time machine, a DeLorean, by calling it a "fancy Chevy" (short for Chevrolet, another car brand). This is a reference to John Titor, an Internet poster claiming to be a time traveler who first appeared on bulletin boards in 2000, and who's also a character in Steins;Gate. According to his posts, his time machine was first installed in the rear of a Chevrolet Corvette. The jelly part is a reference to Steins;Gate in which the time machine cannot send more than 36 bytes of data to the past or else the objects sent become completely gelatinous. "Jellyman" is also the name given to the humans on whom time travel was experimented by SERN (parody of CERN and the antagonistic organization in the game) as they were also turned to jelly.) Doc Brown : Let your elder give you a lecture as to why Doc Braun owns the place. (Doc Brown is much older than Okabe (who is 18), and more educated, so he'd naturally be the one to teach him a lesson. Mister Braun is the nickname Okabe gave to the CRT shop-owner who owns the building he lives in. Also, I guess you could say it's a direct reference to http://i.imgur.com/BLnBd3P.jpg a line in the game that made me laugh. Also, bonus reference : Doc Brown's family name was originally "von Braun" before World War I (in reference to Wernher von Braun). I only discovered that after writing the line, but hey, it still works :P) My rhymes are more radiant than plutonium, and I flow like time itself ! (Plutonium is what Doc Brown uses in the first movie to obtain the 1.21 gigawatts needed. It's a radioactive chemical element, so it's "radiant" (ayy). Also, time flows. Yup. Sure does.) You have no right to diss the MC, PhD, MD's DMC. (Doc Brown has a PhD, and a seems like a really freaking smart dude all around. There's nothing in the movies that says he has an MD, but hey, he said himself that he's "a student of all sciences", plus that'd make him have a double "Dr" title, so that's cool. "DMC" stands for DeLorean Motor Company, which is the car Doc Brown made his time machine in.) I've seen less B.S. in an Old West cowshed. Messiah ? In your fantasies, maybe ! (B.S. stands for "bullshit" as usual, but also for "Bachelor of Science", another scientific dregree in continuation of the last line. Okabe's known to spout a lot of bullshit about himself, so yeah :P. In Back to the Future 3, Doc Brown got transported to 1885 in the Old West, when there were lots of farms and all that, and when there was literally a shit-ton of bullshit in cowsheds (hehe). As for the other half of the line: at some point in the game, Okabe talks with John Titor by e-mail and after talking about his "Reading Steiner" ability (which I'll talk about later), John Titor tells Okabe that he is special and that he might just be the one who can save the timeline, as the chapter ends with Titor calling him a "messiah". Okabe has a pretty wild imagination, so Doc says that'd be one of of the things he makes up to look cool.) Did I mention my stylin' DeLorean, which I use to cruise on the fourth dimension ? (Yeah he did, but I figured Doc Brown would be one to really like his DeLorean-time machine, especially since this is a reference to the line: "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some *style?*". Time is commonly referred to as the 4th dimension. Doc Brown's time machine can easily travel physically through time, and accurately at that...) While you're sending shady spam back to the past with a goddamn broken oven ! (...unlike Okabe's time machine, the PhoneWave (name subject to change), which is built into a mere microwave oven. At first, it can only send e-mails to the past, meaning it can only change the past when e-mails existed. Plus, the e-mails are limited to only 36 letters and are divided into three separate e-mails, which often makes them look like spam. Considering that the receiver is the only one that can change the timeline depending on their reaction towards the e-mails, this makes it a very uncertain method of changing said timeline.) Great Scott ! 'Fate, Doc ?' I think not. This lanky Bill Murray just deserves all the serving he got. ("Great Scott" is an exclamation Doc Brown uses a lot throughout the movies, and one of his most famous quotes. Marty McFly, who usually calls Doc Brown just "Doc", asks if him exposing Okabe's inferiority is just part of Okabe's destiny before, Doc quickly refutes it, saying that this is nothing more than what he deserves. Also, Okabe really '''is' pretty lanky. Bill Murray is a famous actor who played the main character in the movie "Groundhog Day", in which he finds himself trapped in a time loop, forcing him to repeat the same day again and again. Now as to why that's relevant to Okabe, just check the meaning for the line "This discussion is superfluous, if you leap through time as much as you do to conclusions.". Sorry, it's just that I came up with the Bill Murray bit after writing that meaning and I'm really too tired/lazy to rewrite it to make it adapted to this line. Sorry again :P)'' And if he's inclined to not flee from this worldline, he'll see some of the serious shit I've brought. (Time in Steins;Gate is organized in things called "worldlines". To make it simple, you could see them as parallel universes (though they explain several times it's not the same, but whatever. I actually genuinely find them intersisting, I could do a fucking thesis on how they work, but let's just not go there). When something is modified in the past, the worldline changes to one in which there are the modification and its consequences. Okabe seems to possess a strange power he calls "Reading Steiner" which makes him the only one able to retain his memories from a previous worldline (though he doesn't get the memories from the new worldline). At some point during the game, after one of his friends dies, Okabe modifies the past with the PhoneWave (name subject to change) multiple time to reach a wordline in which that friend doesn't die. Doc is implying that Okabe is already losing by suggesting he would try to get away from this worldline. The second part is a reference to one of Doc Brown's quotes : "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.".) Okabe Rintarou : This quirky persona is clearly a façade. Could he be from the Organization? (The "Organization" is an organization (durr) Okabe made up which, according to him, is always after him, sending agents and setting traps against him. Okabe implies Doc Brown's eccentric and wacky personality is over-the-top and fake by seeing it as a façade to hide his real identity as an agent of the Organization...) Impossible... They'd never send that declining trilogy's dweeb on the mission. (...though he quickly dismisses that hypothesis when he notes that no one would entrust such a mission to a "dweeb", especially coming from the Back to the Future trilogy as he thinks the quality of the movies declined, like many fans and critics did...) Thus I conclude, that this wacky act is nothing but an attempt at attention subsistence. (...so he instead concludes that his wacky persona is just attention whoring to stay relevant.) Hence, it shouldn't cause much divergence to erase this nuisance from existence ! (Worldlines have a certain percentage of something called "divergence" between each other. It basically measures how different a worldline is from another, so the bigger the change, the higher the divergence. Okabe says that Doc isn't imprortant, so "erasing him from existence" wouldn't have any big consequences, not changing the divergence much. As for the "erase from existence" part, it was actually a reference to the Steins;Gate movie at first, but it actually works even better as a reference to Back to the Future : in the first movie, after arriving in the past, Marty McFly accidentally prevents his parents to meet and fall in love, causing his existence to slowly be erased from the world. The plot is then to get his parents together again. In the Steins;Gate movie (called "Steins;Gate: Fuka Ryōiki no Déjà vu", if you wanna know), Okabe risks to be erased from existence forever as well (though for more complex reasons that would be too spoilery and take too long to explain).) Put simply, if you wanna start Biff with me, then I won't hold back... 'to the Future !' (I know, the "Back to the Future" pun is pretty silly, but that's exactly why I made Mayuri say it : she's Okabe's childhood friend and has a really innocent and silly personality. She's adorable as fuck and a possible candidate as my waifu, so I'll thank you to not talk shit about her or I'll fucking murder you and rape your corpse. Pun with "start beef" and Biff, a character in Back to the Future who bullies Marty's father.) I'll rip ya like Libyans till this lonely old timer's back... 'Ruptures !' (At the beginning of the first Back to the Future movie, when testing his time machine, Doc gets found by Libyans terrorists from whom he stole the plutonium he needed to power the machine, and then gets shot to death by them. As Doc pointed it out in his first line, he is older than Okabe, though here Okabe uses it as an insult instead. Other than Marty, Doc Brown doesn't seem to actually have any friend, unlike Okabe. All that pretty much makes him a "lonely old timer" (also I guess you could say that since this is a time travel-based battle, "old *timer*" is wordplay or whatever. I dunno I might just be grasping at straws). Since he's so old, Doc's body is more fragile, making his back more likely to "rupture".) What a mismatch ! While your rusty body is conSERNed by those burns that my trail left on you, (The "mismatch" is a reference to Steins;Gate in which, after hacking into SERN, Okabe and his friends stumble upon something called "Jellyman's Report" that contains the reports of the failed time travel experiments with humans I've talked about earlier. On each report, the words "Error. Human is dead, mismatch" are written in big red letters as the outcome of the experiment. Okabe's using this word here to say that he and Doc aren't comparable, and explains why in the next two lines. As explained before, SERN is the antagonistic organization in Steins;Gate, so pun with SERN and "concerned". Again, Doc's old, so his body would be "rusty". Doc Brown's DeLorean is known to leave a trail of burning flames when time traveling.) Steins;Gate bestows upon me a God's view ! El Psy Kongroo. (Steins;Gate is not only the name of the game, but also what Okabe basically calls "fate", "destiny", saying that everything that happens is the choice of Steins;Gate. He says here that his "Reading Steiner" ability, which allows him to observe different worldlines, is like a God's view and that it's a gift from Steins;Gate (he also often calls himself a God in the game. At least I think he does. Well, that's probably something he'd do anyways). Okabe sometimes likes to pretend he's talking to someone on the phone about the Organization and related matters, ending every call with the words "El Psy Kongroo". No, they don't actually mean anything. And yes, I know that in the anime, it says "El Psy Congroo" with a "C", but that's actually a translation error, it's supposed to be with a "K" like in the game. I don't know shit about kanjis so I don't what the difference is myself, but it's apprently supposed to be like that.) Doc Brown : Façade ? How sad. Look in a mirror : power and Other Delusions. (Yeah, so about those things Okabe said about personas, façades, acts and all that... He's definitely not better. Probably worse, actually. Okabe has something called in Japanese "Chuunibyou". And since I'm too lazy to come up with a shortened version of the definition, I'm just gonna copy-paste the one from the game : "Literally, "eighth-grade syndrome". A term referring to a mindset exhibited primarily by teenage males. Also used as a degoratory term to refer to older people who still exhibit this mindset. Characterized by an affected attitude of nihilism and cynicism, extreme self-centeredness, delusions of power and superiority, and a consumming fear of being treated as a child. The person exhibiting these symptoms believes that they are "cool", but most observers find them pathetic. Chuunibyou, which is often abbreviated "chuuni", also refers to the fictional tropes that teenage males often enjoy, such as ancient conspiracies, superpowers (especially powers sealed in a character's eye or arm), Norse mythology, battles for the fate of the multiverse, etc. The consummate chuunibyou case will work such elements in his own personal "backstory". Okarin is a textbook example." So there you have it. Why the fuck is that revlevant you may ask ? Well, because the "power and Other Delusions" part is a reference to another anime call "Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions" (yeah, it's written differently in the westernized title for some reason) wich focuses on a character with that exact same behavior (also, I love that anime, so that's another reason I referenced it :P). So Doc is saying that Okabe puts on an even bigger façade, since he has more delusions, including having power.) This discussion is superfluous, if you leap through time as much as you do to conclusions. (Later in the story of Steins;Gate, the PhoneWave (name subject to change) got upgraded so that it could be used to send all your memories to your past self. It's pretty much like time travel, but instead of physically being transported to the past so that there are two of you, your mind gets transported to where your body already was at the time. Okabe and his friends call this a "Time Leap". Now, that's when things get interesting : when the same friend I talked about earlier died, Okabe started time leaping to try and prevent that friend's death. But because of worldline convergence (explaining that would take a bit too long I think), said death was actually inevitable. No matter how they died, they'd always die at the exact same time. But still, Okabe desperately tried to save them by time leaping over and over again, trying out new ways to save their life, but each of them failing everytime. In one of the endings of the game, when faced with a dilemma that includes that friend's death, Okabe even chooses to repeat the same two days forever to never have to sacrifice anyone. So my point was basically that he time leaps a lot (don't know why I felt the need to write an essay to say that). Okabe is also known to not have a very scientific mindset, often jumping to conclusions when they're in his favor. Leaping...jumping to conclusions... GEDDIT ? And while Doc is referring to Okabe's personality in general, he's also talking about his conclusion in the previous verse that Doc's behavior "is nothing but an attempt at attention subsistence".) I'm slicker... than this slacker, who couldn't dream to be half as McFly as the Doctor (Reference to Mr. Strickland, a character in Back to the Future who works at Marty's school and has a habit of calling people who don't respect his authority "slackers". Pun with Marty's surname, McFly, and "fly" (cool, pimpin'). Also, even though he's referring to himself here, I guess "the Doctor" could be a reference to Doctor Who if you want it to be.) whose bars are tighter than any black hole's hole, or even the bike shorts of your pal Titor! (Reference to a line in Steins;Gate said by Mayuri when trying to understand why the PhoneWave (name subject to change) can only send up to 36 bytes : "So, I think maybe you can't send big things, or a lot of things... Ah, maybe the ... black hole's hole is too tight--". Well, I've already spoiled a lot of shit, so fuck it : John Titor, who I've already said before is also a character in Steins;Gate, turns out to be Suzuha Amane, someone Okabe meets towards the beginning of the game. She's dressed with tight fitness clothing, including bike shorts. In one of the endings, Okabe even notes how she has a nice figure and how her tight clothes accentuate that, and even fucking starts having thoughts about raping her. Yeah, it's the same ending in which he decides to repeat the same two days for all eternity. Seriously, after a dozen cycles, his mind was really starting to break. By the way, I just wanna say that like Mayuri, I also find Suzuha fucking awesome, and if you talk shit about her she'll personally come to life and kick your fucking ass, and then while she's in the real world I'll ask her out and go on a date with her so that I can brag about it on the Internet, and then people will all be like "gtfo and get an actual life you fucking cringy weab", and then I'll post this really long wall of text (kinda like now) about why Suzuha is awesome and why she's the perfect waifu, but at the same time I'll feel kinda bad about Mayuri since I couldn't have her as my waifu, because as everyone knows, "more than one waifu will destroy your laifu." -Confushizzle.) Now I know you're one of those rookies who see science as a game, kid. (Doc sees Okabe as a rookie considering he's much younger and more inexperienced than him. At first, Okabe wasn't really wary of the consequences the use of the PhoneWave (name subject to change) could have, so he and his friends just kinda used it for personal use, including trying to win the lotto (though they did say that it was all to experiment with changes that could be easily be noticeable).) But you really went hoverboard when you managed to get your friends killed. (Pun with "going overboard" and the hoverboard in Back to the Future II that comes from 2015 (so the future in the movie), which is pretty much a hovering skateboard. Okabe and his friends' aforementioned carelessness when developing and using their time machine did have some pretty serious consequences, including to the death of that same friend from earlier, but not only them. Yeah, there's more characters dying. Shit's sad.) Me winning this conflict was no secret, for it's penned in the Battle Rap Almanac. (The Grays Sports Almanac is the focus of the plot of Back to the Future II. It's a compilation of many sports statistics from 1950 to 2000, and comes from 2015. Marty was planning on bringing it back with him in 1985 to win bets (before getting told by Doc that he shouldn't use the Almanac or time travel at all for financial gain). A Battle Rap Almanac would then be a book that contains the results of rap battles. Doc Brown therefore implies that he read one from the future and saw that he was the victor of this battle.) I've been outshining a Zero... Since the dawn of time, till the end of that track ! (The "Zero" is a reference to "Steins;Gate 0", the sequel to Steins;Gate which actually got released pretty recently (December 10, 2015) and is gonna get an anime adaptation as well (can't wait ! ^o^). The "end of that track" part refers to the end of the musical track (so the end of the battle), but it's also a reference to Back to the Future III : Doc Brown and Marty find themselves stuck in 1885, in the Old West, as the time machine is out of gas. Their plan to get back to the future (heh) is to then place the DeLorean on train tracks and use a locomotive to get it to 88 mph. At the end of the movie, the time machine finally reaches it at the end of the tracks, which stop right before a ravine as they hadn't been completed yet. The fact that they literally showed a sign that said "END OF TRACK" probably helped me think of the line too :P Fun trivia time with UHD This wasn't actually the first "Anime vs Anything Rap Battle". There was another one that I started writing that was Samantha and Theodore from the movie "Her" vs Tsukasa and Isla from the anime "Plastic Memories". I didn't publish the battle, though I did post the iTunes cover, since I had already made it. It's probably somewhere on the Wiki. Category:Blog posts